Grief and Loss

Sad  

Grief & loss - the painful duo. It makes us sad to lose something that we cherish and rely upon. Stability requires repetition thus we become very attached to all of the familiar elements that make up our lives.

Whether it's the loss of a person, a situation or something more subtle, we can become immersed in feelings of loss and sadness. There is a time to grieve, all societies do it. It's a process. We need a safe space and empathy.

Grief is an emotion with a lot of gravity, it slows us down and pulls us into painful places. It's a hard one to move through because of that. Sometimes we don't want to face it alone.

Fleeting

Loss is the sensation that occurs in the gap between the old and the new. A sense of loss, though it can trigger despair, is meant to be fleeting.

After the grieving process we aren't really supposed to set up a new home in the grief zone, looking out the windows of pain every day.

We are geared for growth and this means moving through loss, not being destroyed by it. To overly dwell on losses is to rob ourselves.

When we think about loss in general we often think about the dramatic losses in Life. Deaths, accidents, break-ups, but there is another kind of loss that can be triggered by subtle transitions such as the loss of a cherished idea or a way of being, There is more sympathy for the grander losses but the subtle losses need compassion as well.

Keep moving

The swampiness of grief is not a place to put down roots. Move through and move out of it.

When I counsel people who are dealing with grief I use a combination of psychological counseling and personal life coaching. This allows me to help you deal with the shock and sadness of the loss itself which is phase one.

Positive skills are best for the next phase because it’s inevitable after a loss that we have to rally ourselves and start moving forward again. This means making specific plans on what to do next and how to do it.

If you are here and have had a hard loss, I extend my deepest empathy to you. I understand what that's like.  

           ..........Warm regards, Laressa Desmond, PhD.

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Potential forms of loss to consider

Death of an idea

Partners health

Death of a dream

Death of person or pet

Death of a way of Life

Break-ups

Divorce

Chronic illness

Changes in home life

Changes in job status