Conflict Reducing Skills
OMG it's happening again
Nothing hurts like constantly stumbling over the same old conflict with your partner, when all you really want to do is be close. It’s hard to concentrate or have a lightness to the day when relationship struggles drag you down.
We fall in love with people who are different enough from us to create a spark. It’s that feeling of interest & fascination.
We feel sad & confused when that same spark later burns instead of warming us. It’s a baffling betrayal to our emotional logic that we can deeply love someone who we frequently fight with & sometimes emotionally dread.
Twists in the road
There are often small gaps in the momentum of a conflict that determine whether or not it will escalate or just be a bump.
People in high conflict relationships often don't see these little off ramps or can't back themselves up quick enough to put the fire out. Emotions are lit, solving things smoothly is in the rear view mirror.
Possibilities
The good news is that downgrading high conflict to a disagreement discussion is doable. There are methods that work. You can and will have disagreements in your relationship but you can absolutely learn to deal with these times fairly and with an emotionally intelligent response pattern instead of explosion, agitation or hurtful words. It’s learnable and helping Couples learn it is something that I specialize in.
Less pain more gain
If you want to shorten the problem moments & solve things more cooperatively then I can help you. Stop walking on eggshells or using avoidance measures for fear of a blow-up. Give yourself the gift of more peaceful coexistence.
Please note that I work with committed Couples. I don't divorce or separation mediation. I can give you excellent referrals to therapists who specialize in that.
Email is the best way to reach me
I look forward to hearing from you.
Warm regards,
Laressa Desmond PhD
CPC CA LMFT