ADHD Partner

Have you ever wondered if your partner has undiagnosed ADHD? Or do they know they have it but you don't really understand what that means?

ADHD's impact

I have treated ADHD in relationship for over 3 decades now. I can help you understand & develop strategies for dealing with it. Maybe even appreciate it. We live in a neuro-divergent world. It’s important to note that people with ADHD are typically very intelligent and well-intended. The issues they struggle with are usually not based on bad character but rather on having a brain that is chemically and physically different.

These differences can create relationship challenges in the areas of communication, bedtimes, time management, chore equity, future planning, house project management & completion.

Typical complaints

“My partner can really focus on things he likes but he's inconsistent. His self-discipline is always uneven. The unpredictability makes me anxious."

“My wife makes promises then she gets distracted and suddenly she's off in a whole different direction.”

“I nag my partner to be more stable. He tries but can't ever seem to do it. I feel like I have another child instead of a husband."

“The harder my girlfriend tries to focus the more frustrated she gets, then she gets snappy with me when I try to help. I sent her some ADHD articles and then she admitted being diagnosed with it in middle school. I thought this was our turning point but she claims she's outgrown it. I love her and want to marry her, but I'm nervous to be honest about how she'll handle motherhood.”

“My roommate is very outgoing on one hand so I love that, but certain subtleties like during social interactions with friends escape him. It offends people & embarrasses me. My friends think he's hyper & rude, always interrupting. He doesn't see himself that way. He thinks he just a friendly outgoing guy. Because of him some of my friends have pulled away. I think he's sweet and even funny sometimes but this is out of hand.”

“My husband's super smart but often makes bad decisions because he's impulsive. He's careless. It's hard on the budget. We need two incomes to make it.”

“My girlfriend can’t get organized or do normal things in a normal way.  I don't understand it because she's educated & smart otherwise. I have suggested ADHD but she get's defensive.”

“My roommate is very enthusiastic at first but then loses steam and never finishes what she starts. Our apartment's a mess, her half finished projects take up most of the living room.”

“My husband procrastinates on everything. I have to nag him. I can't rely on him. I hate that side of him ."

“My partner is a total Night Owl, I'm a restless sleeper and have to get up early. He's just getting started after midnight. This makes night time an ongoing battle for us.”

“My best friend since childhood jumps to conclusions, talks too much & goes off on unconnected tangents. I love her but it drives me crazy."

Sound Familiar

If several of these patterns are present in your relationship your partner may have ADHD and it might be useful to have some sessions of Couples Therapy to understand it better. I can help you with strategies to get more in sync together.

Email is the best way to reach me

desmondpsychology@gmail.com

I look forward to hearing from you.

Warm regards,

Laressa Desmond PhD

CPC CA LMFT