What do kids need?
I don't counsel children but the Couples Therapy that I provide indirectly impacts your children. Sometimes we think that children don't get what’s going on because “they are too young to understand.” This is a faulty notion. Children are organically sponge-like and they are impacted by everything that goes on in the home, especially the emotional energy between the parents.
If there is a low current of simmering resentment or a high current of open conflict it impacts your children who often feel hopeless and trapped by the agitated vibes between their parents.
Another faulty notion is that arguing ”behind close doors” is ok because children don't see it. Certainly it’s better than open warfare but children still know. It is the pervasive emotional atmosphere in the home that kids register. That “Home Atmosphere” sets the brain chemistry that will shape a child’s moods later on, influence their sense of self in the world and the type of partner they are attracted to.
Dona Laressa Desmond, PhD, LMFT
Expert Couples Counseling and Life Coach
A third emotional dynamic that harms children is when one parent disrespects and speaks badly about the other parent. Maybe the other parent deserves it but it never serves the child to include them in adult problems. Children are one half of each of you and setting them against the other parent, even subtly, can predispose a child to grow up angry, anxious and out of sync with themselves.
A new path
If the mood in your home is too stressed, depressed or hostile you might benefit from Couples therapy. I can help you get a birds eye view of what you’re modeling for your kids and how to make it right. Learning how to listen, cooperate, manage your emotional outburst and resolve things is a great gift for your kids.
Email is the best way to reach me
I look forward to hearing from you.
Dona Laressa Desmond PhD